When Someone Breaks Your Heart
By Richard Mabey Jr.
When someone breaks your heart, it is not an easy time at all. It is a painful time. Sometimes five minutes seems like five hours. You want to scream. You want to cry. You feel like you cannot take the pain a second longer.
You try to remember things like, “it’s better to have loved and lost.” But somehow it doesn’t help. You end up thinking about that special person, again and again and again. Try as you may, to get that special person out of your mind, you just can’t.
Perhaps the worst thing that a person can do, when he or she gets their heart broken, is to bad mouth the one you loved. It’s really not a cool thing to do. Rather instead, no matter how hard it may be to do, we should do our absolute best to remember the good qualities of the person we loved. For truly, despite having a broken heart, we’ve learned something from the one we loved.
People break up for a million and one reasons. Religious differences, social level differences, an old flame returns, a new person enters the game, one person moves away, the list is endless. But when all is said and done, it’s necessary for both people to move on in life, without the one they most recently loved and cherished.
I’ve had my heart broken a couple of times. Well actually maybe one or two times more than a couple of times. Well, it might be more like a dozen times. Or, if the truth be told, more like a couple of dozen times. The one thing I’ve learned is this simple concept: time does heal the wound. Sometimes time never heals the wound completely, but it does heal it a little bit.
Of course, knowing that time does heal the broken heart, even a little bit, is little consolation when you’re enduring the pain of a broken heart. I’ve found one thing to avoid, at all costs. Do not go to those places where you went to with the one you loved. It’s really not a wise thing to do. And, of course, don’t listen to the songs that you both loved. It just makes the pain worse.
I think that the degree of pain that a person endures, when he or she gets their heart broken, is in direct proportion to the degree of how much you loved the person who broke your heart. When you look at it that way, you can almost appreciate the pain that you’re enduring. Although it is of little consequence when you are enduring the horrible pain of a broken heart.
Personally, when I fall in love with a woman, I fall hard. And when I do get my heart broken, it hurts like heck. It is an almost unbearable pain. But I have always tried my best to use that pain, to grow spiritually in my sensitivity as a writer. There are still women, for whom I have broken up with eons ago, that from time to time, I still cry for. Men are not supposed to admit that. But I think it’s true for most men. Some of the women that a man loves, are never really forgotten by that man.
The key thing is that when you are suffering from a broken heart, you’ve got to throw yourself into your work. Do your absolute best to get out into the world. Take a walk. Go to the library. Go to a little, quiet restaurant by yourself, bring a book, have fun observing the people all around you. Do your absolute best to carry on with your life, in the absence of the one who broke your heart.
But always hold this thought near and dear to your heart: never give up on finding love. If you get your heart broken, no matter how badly, do your best to get back out in the world. And, don’t be afraid to find love again. Never be afraid to find love again.