When Love Dies, Or Seems To
By Richard Mabey Jr.
Life is such a funny thing. How many times has this happened to you? A close friend, who lives nearby, gives you a phone call or stops by to see you and tells you that they are moving away. Not only are they moving away, but they are moving far away.
Or you may have been in a dating relationship. Then the person to whom you cherish and adore, tells you that they need to move on, that it’s time for them to say goodbye. Your heart sinks. You feel like your drowning in sorrow.
Or how about this scenario? One of your absolute best work pals tells you that he just put in his resignation to the boss. You get that sinking feeling in your heart, odds are you’ll never see this person again, after they leave the company. Oh, you might have one or two lunches together, but the days of working together for a common good are coming to a close.
Life is not fair. People come in and out of our lives. It seems that they serve a purpose for your life, they fulfill that purpose, then they move on and leave you. And, yes, it does hurt.
Sometimes, the hardest scenario along this theme, is when a man and woman are in a caring and loving relationship. All of a sudden, the difference that was tolerated throughout the close and caring friendship becomes of paramount importance. It could be religious differences, political views, or just a philosophical difference in general.
Finally one person calls the trump card and tells the other one that it’s time to move on. Sometimes it’s not even done with words. Or, it’s done “in so many words.” But there is no mistaking that signal that says, “I can’t deal with this difference that we have, I need to move on.”
And it hurts like anything. The emotional pain is unbearable.
We live in a brave new world. We now form friends over the Internet. It may be reconnecting with someone from high school, an old job, or through a common friend, or someone from a club or organization that you once belonged to. At first everything is so groovy. And a kind of caring relationship may grow. It’s almost eerie, a man and a woman might connect in a caring kind of rapport on the Internet, and it has similar feelings of dating.
Sometimes it can be for a long time, sometimes a few months. But then there comes the time when one party gives the hint, the suggestion, or comes right out and says it; “it’s time for us to part.” It may be religious differences, political differences, or some other conflict that has just come to a head.
And, yes it hurts like anything. And, yes, the pain is real. It’s as real as if you were dating this person.
People come into our lives. They touch our hearts. They touch our minds. They touch our inner being. Then, sometimes, they leave us. And, when they do, it is not a time to be bitter. And, as best as you can, it is not necessarily a time to be sad. For truly, it is a time to reflect. To reflect upon the good of that person. To be thankful for what that person gave to you, to help make you a better person.
Sometimes when we get hurt in love, we want to go back to the cocoon, sort of speaking. We want to retreat. To avoid other people. To fester in our wounds, to feel sorry for ourselves. But that is just the time that we need to bounce back. To continue to love humanity. To continue to uplift others.
And when the person to whom we adored, we cherished, we loved; needs to move on; we need to not focus on that person’s faults, their mistakes, their shortcomings. Rather, we need to focus on the good qualities of that person. We need to send love, from our hearts, out into the cosmos and hope and pray that our love will reach that person by supernatural means.
Love one another. Find the good in others. And, if your heart should break some time, hold not a grudge upon the one who broke your heart. Let them go in a loving spirit.